You're doing a GREAT job, Mama. Maybe you're in the trenches of the NICU. Seeing your baby covered in wires and tubes, feeling guilty and helpless, yet amazed at the tiny fighter in front of you.
Maybe you're facing a diagnosis that's rocking your entire world. It's a hospitalization, a test, an accident, etc, etc. Life isn't going the way you planned. This isn't what you wanted for your precious babies.
Maybe it's just the stress of having two or more littles around the same age (twins even). All the comments. "Wow, you sure have your hands full!" Thanks, Janet, I hadn't noticed.
We all know the commentary that comes from strangers. Complex kiddos or not, someone ALWAYS has SOMETHING to say.
Sitting in the occupational therapy waiting room a couple of years ago, my son was having a full-blown toddler MELTDOWN. Kicking, hitting, screaming, head banging. You name it, it was happening. And he's NOT my complex one (outside of being born prematurely). I can only imagine how ugly it would've been if it were my ASD G-Tube girl. YIKES. Anyway, I was sitting in the chair, trying to hold him in my lap while trying to keep him from hitting himself, me, or the other little boy in the waiting room who was curious as to what was going on. I wasn't yelling. I was just trying to keep my son and this other little boy SAFE. That wasn't enough for this other little boy's mom. After a few minutes of it just being my son, her, and me in the waiting room after her son went back, she went and found another therapist to tell them to call DHR on me. My BIGGEST fear. Not the judgement, but the fear of losing my kid, even when I know I've done nothing wrong. Thankfully, we've been coming to this therapy center since my son and his twin sister were discharged from the NICU. They all had my back, and coincidentally, that family was discharged from therapy that next week. Hopefully, that little boy got the support he needed.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. A newer family came in, and both the littles were having a bad day. You could see the stress all over Mama's face. She was struggling to hold the tears back. I knew what she needed to hear. It's what we ALL need to hear instead of all the snide comments, judgments, and underhanded compliments.
YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB, MAMA.
Motherhood is hard, whether you have one or multiple, healthy or complex, working or staying home. It's ALL hard. So in case no one has told you today:
YOU'RE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB. Your babies love you, and even if I'm just a stranger on the internet, I'm proud of you! Keep going!